CALLING ALL ANGELS

10.14.2012

Hi everyone,

Thanks to all of you who have been reaching out recently wondering how I am doing. An update is long overdue. The summer passed all too quickly and I have had a lot of great adventures – including an Alaska cruise with Mum, my stepdad Phil and aunt Philippa and Jesse and I spent two weeks in beautiful Italy eating pasta and pizza as part of the Sam 10-pound challenge. At home I have simply enjoyed lovely Vancouver by going for walks on the beach with friends, returning to some regular activities, spending time at the barn with Lily, and taking it easy.

A few days after Jesse and I returned from Italy in early September, I started to have increased pain in my back. We had a CT scan done and unfortunately the news is not what we were expecting. The CT shows some areas of concern in the space where my right lung was removed. The doctor feels this is the cause of my pain – which at this point was requiring pretty strong pain killers to alleviate. He thinks that the cancer is back. There is also a small, pea-sized area of concern showing on my left lung. The CT scan was very unclear with a lot of noise so we’ll be re-doing one in the next week to be sure. But my tumor marker is also elevated again so this confirms that something is not right.

At this point, the thoracic surgeon here in Vancouver has stated quite strongly that surgery is no long an option for me as it runs the risk of infection – which would be deadly. I am meeting with my oncologist this week to discuss chemo and radiation options. Thanks to Cindy Pond we were connected with Laura Shawver at The Clearity Foundation in San Diego who did a full tumor profiling after my surgery in Boston. This gave us a more specific idea of how my tumor behaves, and what it may be more responsive to in terms of treatment. Laura has also suggested some “out of the box” options for targeted chemo treatments that we’ll be speaking with my oncologist about as well.

I won’t lie, I am devastated. After getting over the initial shock, I have been riding waves of ups and downs – of disbelief, helplessness, and of strapping on the gloves and kicking this thing’s ass once again. Gabi reminded me that we’ve had this kind of news before, and I am still here!

I believe a lot of my healing, perseverance and strength has been a direct result of the support I receive from all of you. The intentions and affirmations you send for my healing come in many forms: text messages, emails, notes, cards, drawings, paintings, gifts, casseroles and cookies… all made with the love you have for me. Through prayer, meditation or a simple moment of thought, please imagine me healthy and whole, happy and vibrant. Please print this photo of me and use it as a reminder to send this healing energy my way as often as possible

Thank you for your love and for continuing to walk with me on this journey. Please feel free to share my story and this blog so we can expand my circle of support and healing.

With love, light and gratitude always, Sam